| Strange |
[Dec. 13th, 2009|02:24 pm] |
So I finally checked my over-flooded facebook message inbox and discovered that Iris is retiring from Noho. I guess that gives me less reason to visit NH. Then again who would want to go back? The first time I visited high school, I realized how futile were my attempts to relive those four years cause the underclassmen carried on, I didn't have my friends, and it really wasn't the same.
It's startling when accumulations changes make me fear time. It's like when you eat someone else's cheetos, it tastes sooo good, but when you buy your own bag, no matter how hard you try, you can't revive those few delicious moments of droolage. Only this frightens me more. I guess I should always be looking ahead and not caught on whatever is behind me. Just keep swimming!
Then again, we still remember, we still suppress memories--I mean after I graduate, I just want to spend a summer doing...something close to nothing. Dude, I wasted my summers in high school and still got into college, so taking a break and reading a few books (or...not in my case, unless college has made me enjoy reading...oh god) can't be so bad.
Do all college students (except the ones who were born as adults) experience this sense of dread and nostalgia? Am I so complacent with myself that I don't feel constant compassion for kids starving in south africa? Then again, always /feeling/ can be quite draining, so I'll leave it at that.
~~~
Anyway, the other day I dreamt that I met Justin Timberlake. It was awesome! we were in a field and he drove the fancy car, but he was running away from his boss, so he was all sweaty and it was...yeah it was kind of weird.
OK, so I'm going to apply for fellowships and things this winter. Take the plunge! |
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